Monday, October 12, 2009

I Wish I Had Known...

Buzz-Off Cards
My son in bed with a school bus, a monster truck, a fire engine, a train, a music gym, two toy radios, a front loader, and a spray fan.




The more I read about autism, the more I understand the things my son does. I just wish I could have known sooner. I guess I could have read more when I suspected the diagnosis instead of waiting for a doctor to confirm my suspicions. Guilt, guilt, guilt.



Some things I have learned...



People use things called "Buzz-Off Cards" when their children have tantrums in public. My son had a terrible tantrum in a restaurant in Disney. This could have been for any number of reasons. I stopped him by bringing him outside and very quietly telling him I was furious with him. I guess maybe he stopped out of fear; I don't know. Now I feel guilty about getting so angry with him. People were leering at us from every other table. I thought we might get kicked out. It would have been helpful to have a card to give folks, and then maybe I could have been more patient and handled the situation better.



My son performs repetitive movements and exhibits obsessive compulsive like behaviors to calm himself. Since I read about that, I've been trying to do other things that calm him so that he doesn't need to continually hit me in the head. I hold down his hands and give him "tickles", or gentle stroking and rubbing. I only have to hold down his hands for a moment, because as soon as I start to rub him, he relaxes and USUALLY no longer feels the need to hit me in the head and say, "boing". It doesn't work all the time, but nothing ever does.



I read somewhere (of course, now I can't find it) that it's common for kids like my son to want to sleep with hard toys instead of soft, fuzzy ones. This is very true, and every night, I have to remove a plethora of toys from my son's bed so that there is room for him. I've started taking pictures of his nightly collections, because I think he's so terribly cute.



Well, I guess knowledge is power. I'd better keep reading. Thanks to my neighbor who was nice enough to give me an article she found in a magazine. I still have yet to read it, but it seems like I learn something new every day. It's comforting to know that my son isn't the only one who has the characteristics he has, and that although there are no hard rules, there are tools available that can make things a little easier.

I love my son so much. I love my daughter just as much. Anything I can do to make things easier for both of them, and to make life enjoyable, I do. That includes getting even less sleep because I've been staying up late reading lately.

3 comments:

Tammy said...

My son hoardes things on his bed, too. Sometimes, I'm amazed that there is room for him.

Kristine said...

I get such a kick out of how my son sometimes rolls himself into a ball because there ISN'T enough room for him!

SandraJ said...

I've been reading your blog posts and I must let you know how much you're teaching me about autism. I love the buzz-off cards. I am so ashamed of how many times (you made me remember) I have thought to myself that a "certain" child's parents had absolutely no control over the child's actions, never taking a moment to stop and think that there could be a reason. (How quickly we jump to judge another parent.)

Thanks for enlightening me, and God bless you and your family.

Your son is a very lucky little boy to have you as his Mom.