The Date Night That Wasn't

Well, we were supposed to go out on a date last Friday. Our next door neighbors graciously offered to watch the kids for a few hours while we went out to dinner.
However, both kids were sniffling, and my son started coughing that morning, so I didn't want to get their baby sick. So, we cancelled, even though my neighbors said they'd still watch the kids. I just couldn't let them in good conscience.
However, I tried to keep a positive outlook, and I figured, why don't we all go out to dinner? We've taken the kids to nice restaurants before with success, and so we didn't give much thought to not going.
We brought with us the usual arsenal of quiet books and toys for the kids to occupy themselves with. I made sure that my son was seated in a highchair with a seat belt because the pressure on his lap usually helps to calm him.
However, Friday night continued to proceed as unplanned.
My son was extra hyper active, and despite all our efforts, he continued to scream and bang on the table. No matter what book or toy we gave him, he threw it on the floor. He banged the silverware on the table. We took everything away. We tried to ignore him. We tried to redirect him. We tried to distract him. We tried to discipline him. I eventually removed him from the table and took him to a quiet corner near the entrance and the bar area. I sat him on my lap and proceded to talk to him very quietly, trying to calm him. I gave him deep pressure input by squeezing him and pressing firmly down on his shoulders. I did joint compression exercises where I pushed his joints together in quick pulses of ten counts for each finger, each wrist, each elbow, each shoulder, ankles, knees, and hips. He seemed better.
So, we returned to the table, and he started to scream again, and while I was trying to tell him to be quiet, my daughter managed to pull my bread plate onto the floor, where it very noisily shattered.
By this time, we were ready to leave, and the owner of the restaurant came over to talk to us.
I was so humilated that I heard very little. He sounded something like the adults do in Peanut's cartoons. I just knew we were being thrown out of the restaurant.
I was horribly upset, and packed everything up very quickly, feeling every eye on me. I don't know how often it's true, but I often feel as if everyone is looking at me and thinking what a HORRIBLE mother I am because I can not control my son. And it's true, I can not control my son. My son looks perfectly normal, so I'm sure that most people naturally assume that he is a brat and do not realize that he's autistic. Of course, if someone just wants to eat in peace and quiet, it doesn't matter.
It is so difficult knowing that I am being judged all the time, and sometimes it gets to me. Friday, it got to me. Later I talked to my husband, and he had a very different experience. He said the owner just asked us if we could please get the children to be more quiet because two tables had complained to him. He said he really didn't care what anyone thought because our son is autistic, and there simply isn't anything we can do about it.
Our son's behavior is completely unpredictable. One minute he can be a precious lamb, and the next, a holy terror. We never know. But, we probably won't be going to a nice restaurant again for a very long time, and I don't know if I'd ever go back to this one out of sheer humiliation.
Anyway, we wound up going to a local pizzaria and eating in the car. Then we took the kids to the most boring Halloween party ever. The only saving grace was that my neighbors were there. Otherwise, we wouldn't have stayed as long as we did. All in all, the night was a horrible dud, and the best thing we did was go to sleep.