Blue Butterfly

I love my Weight Watchers leader. She makes the meetings so interesting, and she's enthusiastic, funny, and compassionate. Our last meeting was about changing who you are, and one of the pages of her presentation, she posed a question: "Do you want to be a butterfly badly enough to give up being a caterpillar?" I thought that was so interesting, that you really have to change everything about yourself to be successful in truly gaining health (if you haven't been a health freak all your life, which if you have, you wouldn't be at one of these meetings anyway). She gave out butterfly stickers, and I chose a blue one, because blue is my favorite color. I have already been trying to be different (in a good way), by being diligent in writing down everything I eat, measuring everything I eat (except when I'm in a restaurant, although yesterday I ordered a 9 oz steak because I knew if I cut it in half, it would be 4.5 oz), and meeting all my good health guidelines...three servings of fruit, two servings of vegetables, three servings of lean dairy, two servings of lean protein, two teaspoons of healthy oil, at least six 8 oz glasses of liquid, choosing whole grain carbohydrates, and taking a daily multivitamin. I haven't lost weight in six weeks...I've been going up and down, and am where I was on my fourth week of weight watchers. I'm hoping that things will change soon, because it is soooo hard to keep going...but I'm trying to be healthy more than anything, so I have to keep going. Tomorrow when I go to my meeting I'm bringing my tracker along...that's the book where I write everything I eat, how hungry I was when I ate it, how hungry I was after I ate it, what sort of mood I was in, how much everything weighed or measured, how many points I consumed, how many activity points I earned for the day, and if I met all my good health guidelines. She's going to see if I've been doing something wrong, or if there's something I can change to get some better results. Wish me luck. :)

I've had a really difficult week with my son being home sick and my daughter's Christening coming up (which was yesterday, and it was beautiful), and I was just feeling really awful about myself and being on this plateau. Even so, I've been trying to remember that it takes time to become a butterfly, and have been trying to be confident. I bought fashionable clothes, picked out hair highlights and a style from a magazine, bought fashionable shoes, and even fashionable lipstick. I never follow trends, but I thought maybe I would this time because I like the current trends, and it's something different, but positive for me to do...to really try to care about looking nice. Usually, I think that because I'm so overweight, nothing will look nice on me, so why bother to try.

So, I struggle onward, and try to keep in mind what I've accomplished so far without focusing on what I haven't been able to do YET.