Stress

My son (pretending to be a fireman in this picture from the children's museum) is so cute and so sweet, and I love him so much, but oh, he is a bundle of energy!

I'm venting, so if you're not interested, don't read any further.
My daughter does not want to sleep. She screams and screams and screams and screams. There is not a thing wrong with her; she just wants to be held. However, although some people may be able to get everything done that they need to while holding a baby, I have not been blessed with that ability. She cries when she has to take a nap. She cries most of the night. She's up by 6:30 in the morning. I get up at 5 to go to the gym, come home, take a shower, make breakfast for my husband and myself, make my son his bottle, and then she's up. I have no time to do anything else. It is very stressful to listen to her cry...absolutely paralyzing. I hate it.

I got a tetanus/diptheria shot the other day, and I have been in pain and tired as heck from it...I'll be glad when that's over.

My son is on Spring Break this week, and the weather has been miserable. So, I've been stuck in the house with a hyperactive kid and a screaming baby all week, not getting much sleep and not having any time to clean this wreck of a home. In addition to the usual mess, my son is going through some destructive stage where he is tearing apart all his books, taking everything out of all the drawers, everything off the bookcase, out of the toy chest, emptying out the wipes box, emptying out the tissue box, knocking over chairs, breaking the slats on our blinds, and emptying out the laundry baskets. There are always dishes in the sink, and he likes to push over a chair, climb up and dump any cups or bowls full of water on the floor. He empties out the cat food bowls. He takes the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and licks them. He puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher in the drawers. He climbs on the tables and the chairs and leaps from one to the next. He can get past almost any child "proof" device. He can climb and reach anything. It's much too much for me to keep up with. As soon as I tidy up, he empties it all out again. I try to keep up with him, and believe me, he gets disciplined. He's not a bad kid, and he's very sweet,but he's so quick, and if I'm trying to nurse, he takes that opportunity to go to town. I know he's seeking attention because I'm with his sister, and I'm sure some of it is part of his disability, but it gets downright depressing when no matter how hard you try, your home is always a disaster. It's also dangerous to always have things all over the floor to trip over.
Today is a little nicer out, and I hired a mother's helper today. I brought my children to the children's museum, which I normally would not be able to do on my own, because my son is too difficult to keep up with, and then I can pay no attention to my daughter. He would need to be put into a high chair or carriage and strapped in in order for me to play with her at all, or to feed her. So, a friend of my husband's recommended a nice high school senior she knows, and she met me at the museum. She ran after my son so I could just enjoy him and also play with my daughter and feed her without worrying about my son. He had his freedom, and the mother's helper made a little money. Everyone was happy. I am planning on having her or someone come maybe once a week just to watch the kids while I'm here so that I can get some work done. I don't trust anyone I don't know well with my son because he is so difficult to watch, and nobody in my family particularly enjoys watching him because he's so difficult to watch. Nobody offers, and I don't ask. Yesterday I was at the end of my rope when my husband's friend mentioned hiring a mother's helper. The only mother's helper I had heard of before that was the one the Rolling Stones sing about, and I'm not about to start taking drugs! Anyway, it was a fantastic idea, because I can see how someone is with my son, teach them about him and what he needs, and maybe even let them watch him while I'm not around. My husband and I have not been out alone together for well over a year, so it would be nice to be able to get away, even for just a few hours.
On top of all this, my sister has been acting strange with me. She doesn't want to see my family. I don't know why. I don't know what happened. I asked her, but she hasn't answered. So, I won't be seeing her for Easter, because she doesn't want to see me. How heartbreaking is that?
Sorry to complain, but I needed to vent a little. This way, if you don't want to know about it, you just have to stop reading.