Friday, July 3, 2009

A Year of Firsts

Well, we've nearly completed a year of firsts since my father passed away. His first birthday without him, the first Christmas without him, the first anniversary of his death...it's over. The last one is the one year anniversary of his burial, but somehow, that one doesn't seem to affect me as much. I feel like it's time to start over and move on now.
Yesterday I spent the day with my Mom (and of course my kids), and we started the day with a memorial mass. Then we had lunch together, and went out to the cemetery. I had originally made a little garden after my grandfather died, but since I've moved so far away from the cemetery, I haven't been keeping it up. I passed the gardening tools on to my Mom so that she could become the new garden tender.
I had originally planted the garden mostly for my Mom, and had bought a robin to place in the garden. It was absolutely adorable. However, over time, the robin eventually flew away (i.e. someone removed him). Since then, we've been unable to find a suitable replacement. In addition, my Mom wanted to add something special for my father and her brother (who died within a week of my father last year).
So, on the way to the cemetery, I took her to the little gardening shop where I had found the original robin, and she found a new robin. This robin was so plump! It's absolutely endearing. The funny thing was that just that morning she was telling me that she had just seen the fattest robin she'd ever seen. We assumed she was "with egg". She also found an adorable turtle. My father had a pet turtle that he loved, and so this was very special.
She had planted some new items in the garden, and it looks beautiful. Someone else had also left flowers at the grave. The robin and turtle made it look cheerful, if it's possible for a grave to be cheerful. My son found a special rock and put it on top of the stone. It was a nice day of reflection.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I think that is wonderful that a "Turt" is with your Dad! Glad the pain has faded enough to be able to look back with smiles, sounds like you had a cathartic day.

dr. mom's mom said...

It was a cathartic day. It is very hard to be sad when you have 2 adorable children with you. Especially one that is running all over trying to climb tombstones and hugging trees. It made me smile. M